im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
