Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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