There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
