Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize