He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
