Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
