she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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