upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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