Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
