Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
