My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
