One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
