I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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