you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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