I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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