i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
