the day after is always just damage control
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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