just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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