I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
