You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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