Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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