please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You are the jesus of drinking
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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