North Korea, Best Korea!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
