my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
