Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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