I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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