Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
