So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize