idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
