There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
