So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
