i would punch a child for taco bell
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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