worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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