I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
