we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
