ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
