Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
