I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
someone owes me an orgasm
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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