I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize