tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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