Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
