Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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