He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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