every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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