If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
