It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize