maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
