But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
