we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
