You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
