All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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