margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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