so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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