there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So squirting runs in the family.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
