i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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