there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
