I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
