I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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