ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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